Seven o’clock in the morning found me dressed and ready for activity. I couldn’t find a map anywhere but I backtracked the route the taxi took toward the airport, looking for the zoo. A web page I was looking at the day I left said that there were as many animals out of cages as there were caged. This sounded like a good thing. Wanting some reassurance that I was heading the right direction I stopped a local “Donde esta parque zoological?” He indicated that I was heading in the right direction with a swoop of his hand and the attendant whistling sound that Colombians like to make with hand swoops. A bunch of Spanish but I did catch “todo” and “cerrado”. Always closed? No he must me closed all day on Sunday. A few blocks further I saw a large wall with interesting advertising every 50 feet or so. The vegetation was lush on the far side, what is over this wall? I stepped up on a rise and looked over the wall and saw a tiger in the distance pacing in a small cage. The grass was overgrown everywhere at least two feet tall. A tapir lounged in the sun and a pair of agouti ran by. I guess he meant that it was always closed. I turned and walked back and noticed the entrance that I had passed earlier, the gate was closed, one guy was strolling behind it and a big tapir well over 100 kilos walked by.
I walked around town for a while but everything was closed, internet cafes, restaurants, provisioning stores, tour companies. Ahh, it’s Sunday. A couple of hours later I walked back past the hotel and down to the river. A drunk was rolling on the sidewalk. Two more were passed out in the bar, one was staggering down the street. It was 11 AM. Welcome to the Amazon. As I approached the floating pier a man jumped on me like a salesman at a used car lot. I almost wondered if he was going to say “What is it going to take to get you on a trip today?” He wanted to describe his tour but I asked for some printed documentation. “Necessito describo escribe,” Close enough, he went off and fetched an accordian folder and pulled out a hand painted map of the area and told me about the island of monkeys that swarm you, climbing all over you, the lily pads multiple meters across, the pink dolphins and anacondas. The trip was 120,000. He explained that was because I was alone. Well, I told him I will just have to find a tour with more passengers, to get my cost down. Three people boarded a boat and he told me he could take me to Peru for diez. Okay, I can spare $5. A few minutes later we landed at Santa Rosa a Peruvian island in the middle of the river.
I disembarked and was beset upon immediately by a local who greeted me in English. His name was Carlos and he was a guide. Sure, I’ll hear about your tour. We walked 50 meters and sat riverside at some bar. He had a book of photos with a pet jaguar, lily pads with people standing on them, hammocks with mosquito enclosures. I asked him how much a 5 day tour was. When he started launching into all the things I was going to see I knew it wasn’t going to be cheap in the end he told me it was 120.000.000. No way in hell. Again he told me that I was alone and that they don’t make gasoline in Colombia so gasoline is expensive. Bud, that 9 horsepower motor doesn’t burn a gallon an hour, give me a break. Then he told me that he didn’t need the money for today, he was building a hostel. I don’t care what your motives are I just need a better price. I had read on the internet that such tours could be had for $250 USD. I took his number and told him that if he could round up some more people to give me a call.
I strolled down the sidewalk, no roads or cars here, nor was there any evidence of immigration, which was good as I had neglected to bring my passport.
Spying a sign for ceviche, for which I have a great fondness, I pulled out my camera. Some passing ham stood next to the sign and gave me a big thumbs up. I snapped the shot and continued down the sidewalk. The guy walked up a plank and gestured for me to follow. He read me well enough to not bother trying talk to me in Spanish. A monkey on a lead swung from place to place ocassionally onto a tourist. Other monkeys clambered the walls of large cages. Two small jaguars m(or were they ocelots? )lie on the wooden floor in the corner. The man then signalled me over to a low storage type box a meter tall, two meters deep and 5 meters long and opened the lid. Two boa constrictors lay coiled in a tub, one a spectacular Colombian red tailed boa and the other a darker brown as are common in Mexico and Costa Rica. Draped over the side of the tub was a two meter green anaconda which was flaccid and had obviously left this world in spirit more than a day before. Another anaconda laid coiled in the corner.
A large statue carved of wood of the famous pink dolphins that inhabit this river stood in the corner boasting a very large erect penis. I grabbed a local cutey, put my hat on her head and staged her next to it and had here companion take a picture of the two of us and this giant penis. After a while I realized I had to go, which I had time to get the email addresses of the Colombians with whom I had been hanging. They were from Santa Marta and would be a lot of fun next time I’m on the Caribbean. I returned to the dock at the appointed time, 5:40 but my boat was not to be seen. After 15 minutes of walking around I decided just to take any boat back. The fare was tres mill. The dickhead had charged me over three times the going rate. As we were pulling out dickhead pulled in an indicated that I should go on his boat. I declined but gave him the money for the previous trip.
Back in town I went to the hotel room, took a shower and finished off Tom Clancy’s “Debt of Honor”, went to the internet café, killed a little more time and then walked toward Tabatinga Brazil. On the way I encountered some clowns erecting a canopy and a group of children observing. I threw my hat on one kid and took his picture. A melee ensued as every kid present had to wear my sombrero and get his picture taken. I continued, crossed the border, this time with my passport and once again encountered no restrictions, just strolling on with little more notice than a sign that communicated some basic statistics of Brazil.. Spying a restaurant sign that proclaimed ceviche I sat down and placed my order. A short while later a bowl was brought out. I took of the lid but this was not my ceviche, but rather a green hot sauce. A few minutes later an enormous ceviche was presented and I dinned splendidly. It was so good I had to have the lingua gusada (tongue in gravy) but passed on the rice and beans. It was so tender I could cut it with a fork and the gravy was excellent. Sated I returned to Leticia and called my mother, my first call state side in four months. We chatted for about 20 minutes and I headed out in search of something else to occupy my time. I just strolled around for an hour or so and finally found a quiet bar with a few people sitting around and just sat down and joined them.
A large gringo walked up and said to me “Americano?” “Si, I mean yes.” He joined us. Richard is a 43 year old New Yorker now living in El Paso, TX. Richard had just gotten into town and was staying at the same hotel as I, the Hotel Amazonas. We bitched about the fact that the front door was always locked and you had to wake up the guard who was passed out on the couch to get in or out. He would fumble around inside the couch looking for his key and then return to his couch without fetching my room key from the boxes behind the reception desk. The lights were off, so I had to fetch mine in the dark and it was not in the correct box. I just took half the keys and walked down the hall and looked at them under a light as the lobby was dark. Nice security, I knew which rooms were vacant or the guests were out and had the keys. Time to find a new hotel. We returned to the hotel and agreed to meet in the morning and see what we could do about a tour.
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