Brain Farts

I have been chastised by a few faithful readers that there has been paucity of postings lately.  This primarily attributable to the fact that I haven't been doing shit.  The amount of rain we have received in the last few weeks is difficult to comprehend, daily reports of just sitting on my deck with my dogs seems a bit much.

I have a few things scattered about that warrant attention.  More than a few, but I am inclined to allow these to be tended to by others, or just abandon these possessions and move on.

Admittedly, I vacillate between states of impressive productivity, slothfulness, self indulgence, and debauchery that I wont report. If I didn't personally know many of my readers I'd consider it, but those that don't know me would find these events dubious, the product of an inventive mind.

Pretty young things that want a few days of adventure, fly in from remote places, spend a little time and then head on.  But then go for weeks with nobody, not a soul, turn off the phone and be comforted by not much more companionship than the dogs at my feet, the geckos and frogs who frequent this place and an enormous quantity of birds.

OK, I will admit to an obsessive attraction to young hotties. Sure, you want to fly in run around naked, clean my house, cook for me and then leave?  Time and time again.

Be different, don't pierce your nose.

"Tourists are easier to pick up.  But my dad gets more ass from girls my age than I do."

Spam is dog food and insipid at that when it's 3 bucks for 340 grams and hamburger is but $1.25 a pound.

Down 186 ampere hours and no sunshine is forthcoming.  Well, the tanks are full.
 
Boat bailing.

Yeah, the dogs obey hand signals. You've never seen that?  Come, sit , stay, lie  down, heel, fetch and retrieve, dance together on your back legs, that's not a lot. It can be taught in a week.


When faced with adversity perhaps other options should be considered.
Wednesday, 7/31

8:39 Enough sun to get power but now there is none in town, so I have no internet.I have to check on my stocks can we have some frigging internet?

Windows 8 sucks donkey ass.

How can a guy that has 20 pairs of $300 shoes sitting in somebody's house in Texas not even possess a pair of sandals? Island life is different, but attempting to  board a plane in rubber boots might create some issues.

Continual disruptions of electrical  service in Bocas, uncollected garbage, streets with vultures feasting on waste of unknown origin.

Those guys, running through the jungle and shooting the hell  out of things?  They are with the CIA, worst kept secret in Bocas.

All right, I'll admit, I've booked two flights and and missed them both. Somebody is getting more than a little antsy waiting for me.

Birds, ants, mantises, moth, geckos, frogs, spiders and that fucking scorpion. Lobsters, a ray and a few dolphins popped by today.   There is a mound of insects on the kitchen floor, I guess I should take care of that and keep the doors closed.

Just a cayuco with a lufting sail.  

Oh shit, out of dog food.  Off to town.  Then the motor died. Are you fucking kidding me?  This thing has fewer than a couple of hundred hours on it, it's what a month old?  No tools, it's my little skiff.  While bobbing in waves just a few feet high water continually washed over the stern.  I can't bail, set anchor and repair this thing all at once.  Ahh, just a clogged vent on the gas tank, remove the top and off I go.

Off I go, to town, to be greeted by 8 heavily armed guys at the dock.  AK47s and  flak jackets. Well, greeted is not the right word as I knew not a one of them.  I know most of the cops in this little town, they will give me rides  when I can't find a taxi. What the hell is going on here?  This place is getting strange. So, I walked barefoot across a large expanse of broken glass and procured a couple of pounds of hamburger for the pups.  Gotta do what you gotta do. Life goes on.
I suspect my life is a bit different than yours.

So at 6:05 I get a request to have a few people live here, Ians Worker, 66521978.  Just a note to myself.  This is particularly fortutious.

Charts of the waters of Cuba, yeah, I can do that tomorrow.

"I don't mean to molest you, but..."  Ok, I got it, you mean bother. Your English is far better than my Spanish.

"Did you catch your flight?"  Oh man, the stories I could tell.

"Come see me in hell, I'd love your company." Now that's an invite.

Sometimes I feel so uninspired

Tuesday

Bored.  Nobody in town.  What to do?  Mel, my most reliable adventurer had taken off to Red Frog Beach.  Bored.

Half an hour later she sent me a text message asking if there was anything to do there other than swim and hang out.  Hmm, you were just there.  I offered to pick her up.  Off to Red Frog, back past town, we headed, seeking a canal that was dug at the turn of the last century for transporting bananas from Changuinola to the sea.

Sixteen miles in and the engine seized then popped. I took off the cowling.  The upper unit was a total loss, oil and pieces of metal were everywhere.  I made a phone call and a friend and... oh, I have already told you this.

Wednesday

I hailed a passing water taxi and caught a ride to town.  A buddy had a couple of used 15 HP for sale.

He towed me to his house and I selected one of the motors that looked less hard worn, but that is a kind statement as they obviously had a rough life.  A worker was dispatched to get some gas from a village.  I have no idea what he was up to.  Near two hours later he returned.  In the mean time there was a coup in Egypt.

When he finally returned he placed the motor on the boat.  The things are light and I would normally have been able to do it myself but with my bandaged hand I was more than ready to allow someone else to do it.

I entered the boat and tried to start it.  It wouldn't pull.  I pulled the cowling.  A cog that engages the flywheel preventing it from being pulled except in neutral was blocking the flywheel.  A piece of mangrove was duct taped into place.  I looked at the mechanism.  The cable from the shifter had been bolted on at the wrong place.  The stop lever was on the wrong side of the stop.  Why am I even bothering?  This thing was worked on by a hack.

I started it and took off.  The motor almost fell off the boat.  The bolts which secure the motor to the hull were broken off, the base plate for the bolts was missing.   Nope, I need to get a motor that I can rely on.

My friend pulled me back to another friends boat where I tied the skiff off and then he dropped me off back in town.  I priced some new outboards and made a few calls.

One cannot walk more than half a block down main street before running into somebody one knows.

I dropped alongside Lorie, of the Floating Doctors and we made it just a few yards when we passed Tropix.  "Weren't you looking for new sandals?"  Yeah, I was and of course she knew.   So I popped in for a few minutes.   Most of the models topped out at size 8.  One must have been size 16.  WTF?  I found one pair in size 12.  I am not much of a fan of flip flops.  I do a lot more than just walk down beaches.  I never know when I am going to encounter knee deep mud on land or in the mangroves or find myself ascending a steep hill.

 I could stay in town at a nice hotel for the price of a round trip water taxi to my house so I did.

Thursday

I bought a new outboard for my skiff.  

Friday 

Broke in the outboard, long ride, tried to find the river to Changuinola, failed miserably. 

Saturday

Dolphin Bay with Mel.  Didn't see a single dolphin.

Picked up Kivia a Brazilian who had recently finished hitchhiking from Patagonia to Iquitos.  We visited the neighbors and went home.  This girl had never cooked.   I showed her how to sautee some mahi mahi I had in the fridge.

Sunday

It rained in the morning, then off to Dolphin Bay and Aguacate.

Monday

Town, Red Frog, home.

Tuesday

Dropped off Kivia.  To resort and Aguacate with Cuba.

Wednesday

I need a change. Just sitting on the deck with my dogs with song lyrics running through my head.

Changing of the Guard

Five and half, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.  WTF?  How late can  you sleep?  Eleven, twelve.  Sajoua and Candice finally showed their faces in the early afternoon.  The sunlight was more than half gone.  I guess our trek was a bit much for them.

Not much time for much, I took them to the bat cave and waited for them.  My lacerated finger didn't need to be soaked in water tainted with guano.  Off to town they bought four pounds of Mahi Mahi.  Back home they made a salsa, cheese bean dip that we enjoyed with chips while waiting for the ceviche to "cook".

Early in the morning I dragged the reluctant from their slumber and we prepped with strong coffee mixed with cocoa powder straight from the farm and coconut milk.  It was sinfully good.  Shortly after six we headed out.  They then faced an eight hour bus ride to San Jose, Costa Rica.

Back to town.  My old standby, Melissa copped out on me and decided to go to Red Frog Beach.  Few tourists, it is the slow season.  An hour later she texted me.  "What is there to do here, but lie around and be lazy?"  Silly girl, you were just there a couple of days ago.  Not much, swim and hang out.  "Ready for another adventure?"  "Sure."

So, I headed out and picked her up at the dock and we headed out back past town and toward the other end of Isla Colon heading to a canal to Changuinola when the engine exploded.  I made a phone call and a friend told me he would come to get me.  About an hour later he called.  He had no idea where we were. I could see him, but he couldn't see me as he was looking directly into the eye of god.

Go west four hundred meters then due South for a mile.   Towed to town.  Guess I'll have to buy a new motor tomorrow and I have guests coming.  Better make this quick.