Kaen Krung National Park - Thailand

Ko Pha Ngan to Kaeng Krung Park

An uneventful ferry ride and about an hour and a half later we were at the port of Sumat Thani. We rode in the back of a truck to the minibus station where things started to get interesting. Nobody understood where we wanted to go. When I finally showed the guy on a map he broke out laughing and showed our destination to the other drivers who roared with laughter. We were told we had to go to another place that was three kilometers away and took a tuk tuk for 100 baht. We had reservations at the park. We called the numbers but none of them were valid, I remembered that the numbers all started with 0 and prepended a 0 and reached a fax machine. We walked around to a hotel and found the spot where we dropped off, it was no 3km, that was just the route the tuk tuk driver took. At the hotel the woman told us the name of a city we needed to go to, we looked it up on a map and it was nowhere near our destination. She finally got hold of the park and told us to a different city to go to, which was not too far from the park, we bought a couple of tickets for 125 baht each and rode to nowhere. We had completely escaped any travellers and tourists. We finally were told this was our destination. Now what?

As I hopped out of the bus, a guy in camo approached and said he was a park ranger. Wow! That was easy. We hopped into the back of his truck and drove off to the park. Although Marek and I each had reservations for 400 baht a night,it turns out that was the rate for a cabin, not per person. The website was ambiguous, better safe than sorry.

We were shown to our cabin, dumped our stuff and were soon brought dinner. We expected a communal eating area, but ... As we passed a cabin a guy was playing a guitar.

Throughout the day we were joined by the curious and continually photographed, hundreds upon hundreds of pictures of the most mundane activities, lacing boots, eating, sitting in a truck. They don't get many guests I think and white people must be very rare.

The next day we had a short walk in the wet jungle, wading across a river, thoroughly soaking my hiking boots, the cost was 200 baht apiece which three days later are still not dry, hanging onto my backpack, I nearly just lost one. In the afternoon we rafted. That was 350 baht each, on inflatable kayaks. In the evening we were invited to join the group, two rangers with their guitars, the girl brought us a cold pomegranate and we listened to them play their guitars and sing in Thai.

We hoped to see animals the park has elephants and tigers, but the terrain is rugged with most of the slopes 30 to 80 degrees and the wildlife was scattered throughout the remote parts of the park.

We arranged for them to take us to the train station the following

We had each paid 1,200 baht for three nights which works out to about $15 a night. It turns out that was the cabin fee, not per person fee. Whatever.

Additionally we paid 200 baht each for the jungle walk, 350 each for the rafting and an usual request 1,000 baht to take us to the train station. So that adds up to 1,900 baht. The total bill was 3,600 baht meaning 1,700 baht for five meals each, bottled water and cigarettes.

Thansadet Seaview

Wednesday 11-Dec-2013 10:53 AM somewhere in the Gulf of Thailand

I am sitting on the second deck of a ferry boat, plugged into the only wall outlet I could find, heading back to the mainland to go visit Kaeng Kraeng.

December 8, 2014

Today's travel tip:

Before you take off on a motorbike with a hot blonde girl in a bikini on and a python skin belt with pouches on an island in the Gulf of Thailand, ask her if her husband is with the Russian mob and if she is being followed.

I should go into that story, it didn't last long,

but it was interesting. 

Next stop, I had to buy a phone card to charge up my internet minutes. Outside the door was a guy looking at his phone, trying to decipher the message through the thoroughly cracked screen on his Samsung Android.I told him what it meant. 

He had just rented a motorbike and was out for a day of exploring. I suggested we go see a waterfall, there are a lot of them on this little island. Off we went. We walked for a while, scrambled up rocks, back into the jungle. Upward and onward until the weak had given up and there were no other hikers. It really wasn't that much work. We walked back down, cooled off in a pool of cool water in a bed of granite boulders, we offered and accepted half a liter of water from a couple of Dutch guys, chatted with a French couple and headed off to parts unknown, here a temple, there a Chinese temple in front of which were hundreds of motor bikes. Not much to see there, they were giving away bags of food.

Beach, dead end. We rode around and through the island, never bothering to consult a map nor choosing a destination. My new acquaintance, Marek, an Estonia,n asked somebody what the biggest waterfall was. Sure, why not. Off we went, more concrete roads, a roundabout, another road, a long expanse of freshly graded clay, the road degraded into ravines. We came upon an improvised waterfall sign that led by a small stall operated by a guy blinded by opaque cataracts that led to a small wall, maybe 60 cm tall with a small retaining area that fed dozens of 5 cm PVC pipes. Onward, it was dusk, and we found a sign for a waterfall. We didn't know how much trekking was involved but decided to venture in and and see if it was close. It was close and one of three, certainly nobody came to see that little thing, it wasn't much of a walk or much of a waterfall. Whatever, I didn't want to be in strange jungle after nightfall especially one that likely had a large number of large highly venomous snakes.

We were damn near the middle of the east end of the island, we were aware that there were no waterfront roads but decided to see the coast before heading back. A sign indicated Theneset Seaview, let's have a quick look and head back.

We parked the motorbikes and our arrival was announce by three dogs which resulted in the appearance of a Thai woman who directed us to the view spot, a large deck ensconced by boulders with a great view of the sea and not a tourist in sight. We both looked at each other, back and the sea, silently changed our plans and Marek turned to me and said, “So, we spend the night here.” That was easy.

We ordered dinner and met the cook, the woman's husband. I had a few iced coffees, no sugar, which always evinces a reaction and we sat on the deck and recounted the felicity that gave rise to our stay. We had a few items to charge up and asked if there was an outlet. The husband walked off and fired up a generator which remotely puttered the sounds of a small diesel engine and soft music started, some Hendrix blues, Bowie's Little China Girl, Stevie Ray Vaughn and so it went, great stuff, all of it. Kerosene lamps were set out. We dined and told travel stories, while our hosts checked on us attentively but not intrusively. A little “joy” was produced and the evening passed tranquilly with a pleasant mild buzz.

I asked whether there were a lot of snakes there and Noi assured me that there weren't. After I talked about all the snakes I had as pets she produced her phone and showed a conflict between her dogs and a cobra that had occurred fifty meters from where we were sitting.

Now, where the hell is our cabin?

Morning

A foot long gecko hung out over the door on the inside of the cabin. I walked up and shortly thereafter and Noi appeared and offered coffee which was soon followed by an omelete and fresh fruits. After a morning swim in the bay Marek and I decided to check out of our respective lodgings and motorbiked up the road “Lonely Planet description' and then west to the International Airport, a small building with a earthen driveway, I don't know if the landing strip was paved. Back up another road back east and off to my lodgings. I packed, grabbed a few items and asked if I could store until I returned. My hostess agreed to contact the motorbike company and extend my rental for another two days.

We quickly found an internet cafe and Marek reserved the last bed at the park. A few blocks later we located the bank and paid for our reservations, which cannot be made online.

I was dressed for any eventuality, in a swimming suit, hiking boots, a shirt and a jungle vest. When we made our way to the southeast corner I walked back to the pool while Marek checked out. I immediately recognized the pool as a place with wild pool parties from a Thailand posting on one of my many research sessions. Here there were but a few people in the early twenties, drinking beer for breakfast. In the picture were scores of hot young Thai woman running around without clothes. If only Marek's room mates had picked up a naked girl he wouldn't have been so surprised once her pants came off. It would seem to be in the best interest of all parties to disclose that the junk is external. I looked more than out of place in my garb, but cared little.

We set out to what we hoped was a quiet beach on the northwest of the island, adjacent to another tiny island that was but a short swim away. We found a little spot on the water and had Pad Thai and mango salad. We lingered and finally set out to the beach a picturesque, sparsely populated stretch of sand with a beautiful small island that one might be able to walk to during low tide.

We arrived back at after dark, each had a banana shake and I a couple of iced coffees and a wonderful meal. We showed our day's pictures to Noi and Oo and Marek broke out his computer and showed pictures of his travels to India, a destination Noi and Oo have considered.
 

We passed the evening with quiet blues and mirthful conversation.

Next Day

I gave thought, but no consideration to renting out the whole place by the year at 20,000 baht a month, about $700, but then came to my senses. Hell, I had just abandoned my house on the Caribbean a few weeks earlier due to restlessness.

We moved an old large battery, topped up the electrolyte, fixed the end to a charger and started up the generator. After the charger was set to the 18 volt position the hydrogen started to boil out of the electrolyte, but without a hygrometer or volt meter it was impossible to ascertain the condition of the battery. At least that would give them some music during the day hours without running the generator.

Morning

Moi informed us that there was an alternate beach and an alternate trail. Off we went, down a trail that headed away from the intended direction and instead of walking narrow paths through the jungle we descended on narrow concrete steps between houses and soon were met by a large pig that came around a house to investigate. A large monitor scampered off a rock and into the jungle. It seemed as though we were intruding as we were near front porch of all the houses, but, many were probably rental units anyway. Over large granite rocks. Is the progression pebble, rock, boulder, rock? I guess so. It is the “Rock of Gibraltar” and “The Rock” in the Bay of San Francisco and El Piedre outside Guatape in Colombia. Back the length of the beach we were on the previous morning to the South end we crossed a rickety wooden bridge that brought us to a dead end, found another walkway right in front of some cabins, waded through some water and found the little beach. Abandoned cabins were everywhere, perched atop rocks on the water's edge, high up on rocks on the hillside, on the beach, all of them dilapidated and devoid of furnishings. Very strange.

We swam in the bay around the large rocks and headed back, a different way, of course. Across a field, under a fence, through the jungle, over more rocks, through somebody's yard, the generator running, boats lying around and nobody in evidence. Marek suggested that we swim the river, murky with suspended sediment, but fearing crocodiles I suggested we follow the river for a while. Soon it became rocky again, we found some inscriptions on a stone, later to find that that was the marking ordered by a former Thai king to mark one of his favorite places a found our way to the other side up a slope and to a road. We happened upon a large four bedroom house with an infiniti pool that rented out for 13,000 baht a night. A short trek on a road and we were back.

We described what we had seen and Noi told us that most guests don't even find the beach and that we had seen a great many things she had never seen. We just hung around. In the evening I suggested to Marek that we just have them go to town with us, gather our things and drop us off at the ferry.

We paid them 1000 baht to take us to town, bought our shit, posed for more Facebook pictures got on the Ferry and headed out to Turat Surani.

Photo Album

Planning

So much to see, so much to do.  I have been enjoying the quiet of this little rustic mountain spot but as time is limited due to being afforded but 30 days I have to go somewhere, either to Bangkok to extend my stay, make a visa run by crossing the border and returning, or just moving on.

I initially planned to bus it back to Bangkok and go see XXXXXXXXXXX on the way and then fly to Malaysia, but realized that it would be easier and faster just to bus it south.

A short hike in the mountains made me realize that boating is not a conditioning activity and that I am nowhere in the shape I was while trekking through the Andes eight hours a day.  It'll come back. I have managed to lose a noticeable amount of weight, but I don't have a scale.

So what now, Koh Toa, Kaeng Krung Park?  Probably both 

I made reservations at the park for Monday, but they require payment two days in advance, which can only be done in person at a bank.  Fortunately there is a branch on this island.  I guess I have to rent a scooter, go to town, find an internet cafe, print off a reservation, go to the bank, pay for it and get it signed and try again.

I think I will spend a couple of days snorkeling on Ko Tao then return to... wait, what the park is no longer listed on the reservation site?

Well, maybe I will rent a scooter and explore. I'll report back this evening.

Thailand National Parks - Reservations
http://www.dnp.go.th/parkreserve/asp/style1/default.asp?npid=208&lg=2

Koah Ra

I was not impressed with Koh Samui, the much lauded place was a wonderful destination if one were seeking pharmacies, bars, restaurants, hotels, custom made suits, tattoos, tour providers, money exchange, ATMs, massages and blowjobs from the extremely hot professional girls who work the pool tables in the bars, each of these are available in a endless loop, punctuated by sides streets with of German Town, Russia Town and smatterings of Swedish and Australian restaurants and sports bars edging a substandard beach. There, I got it over with in one sentence. Moving on.

Yesterday was the king's birthday and consequently alcohol sales were prohibited, although the Australian bar served beer. I didn't ask. In any event, the town was dead last night and I just sat in my room and read.

I had sought some snorkeling, but the boats all went to Koh Tao where there is a national marine park. Why not go there then?

This morning I walked out of the hotel and the prostitute that solicited me yesterday at six in the morning, was riding up in a scooter to meet with a customer in the lobby. Let me flash back to yesterday. I was standing on the street in front of the hotel, smoking a cigarette at six in the morning waiting for the coffee, such as it was, to be available. Coffee means near hot water and instant coffee, it's about the only thing available anywhere. The woman drove up to her house, directly across from hotel entrance, parked her scooter and asked “Where you go? Where you go? You have wire?” I indicated I had no idea what she was talking about and she indicated her ring finger. Oh, wife. No. “I go buy oil, be right back.” No really I am just looking for a coffee.

I got my computer and went to the lobby to check my email and Facebook messages. Still no reply on that business deal. WTF? After several coffees I returned to my room to put away my computer to find a condom stretched over my room door. I summoned a maid who removed it with an ungloved hand and then washed the knob after I asked her to.

When I looked on the internet for lodging on Koh Tao, one appeared for Ko Phangam, an island that lies halfway between Koh Samui and Koh Tao. There were some bungalows in the mountains that seemed a like a nice way to get away from things and I made a reservation on airbnb.com. I informed that I would get a confirmation or a denial, probably within four hours. I decided I would go to Ko Phayam regardless and find some lodging. There were three companies within 100 feet selling tickets. I went to one and bought a one way trip, taxi and boat ride for 450 baht, about 15 dollars. That's the last currency conversion I will give you in this post.

A taxi was to pick me up between 11:00 and 11:30. A guy showed up at 11:17 and indicated no little disgust that I wasn't just standing there waiting for him. I shutdown the computer and put it in my bag, total delay a little less than a minute. The sky darkened and I followed him to a hot van with worn out seats, the padding material exposed at all the corners and much of the edges of the seats. I placed my backpack, camera bag and computer on the first passenger bench seat as I had been requested. Shortly thereafter we picked up a Russian couple at a five star resort and one of his suitcases was carefully laid on the seat next to my luggage. The second bag was heaved onto the top of my electronics before I could react.

A few minutes later we were at Big Buddha pier and I took a seat behind a Canadian couple and we compared notes on Thailand. They were heading to where I had just come from. I just listed the places without tendering any judgments. I hope they enjoy it. They did tell me that Trawangan, Bali was awesome and I made a note of that.

I walked over to the rails and smoked a cigarette and introduced myself to a German guy. He asked where I was headed. I describe the bungalows in the mountains and he excitedly told me that that was the type of thing he was doing. He had just spent a week at one of the two places offering lodging on Koh Phayam, places one would only find if someone were to tell him, family owned and operated and offering peace and tranquility. 

Our one o'clock scheduled departure took place well after the half hour for no obvious reason. About three quarters of an hour later we arrived at our destination. In the mean time, I had exchanged several emails with the girl who was making reservations on behalf of the woman who owned the place. It turned out that the offered transportation had to be booked well in advance. It's a small island, how hard could this be? I showed my confirmation and was shown a map of the island and was told that it had to be in this area as indicated by the place name. Where exactly was unknown. I found a book for tourists that detailed activities, restaurants and lodgings, but my intended destination was not listed. I called the number provided, the phone was not in service. Finally, I turned on images for my email, saw a map, clicked on it and google maps opened up and showed the exact location. The fare was as I was advised in my booking, 200 baht.

The Russian couple and I were the only passengers and we waited for additional fares, but by this time the dock area was cleared of any potential customers and we headed out at 3:00. About 20 minutes later the taxi driver called the bungalows and indicated that I was there. He told me that as there were only three passengers the fare was 300 baht and further that a taxi would come from the bungalows to pick me up. We watched a man poking coconuts with a pronged stick and toss them into the bed of pickup truck. The taxi driver indicated that coconut milk was very good after joy. I inquired with a thrusting right fist “Joy? Sex?” he pantomimed smoking a bong. Ahh, dry mouth. I prefer my version of joy. I paid him and he departed.

Soon an elderly woman appeared on a scooter and asked if I was going to a certain bungalow. That was not the name I had been given on my reservation, but I replied in the affirmative. She indicated that I should sit on the back of her scooter. Between me and two much stuff the additional 300 pounds the frame bottomed out. She made a phone call and indicated that a taxi would come from town. I had but a mile to go, so I started walking. I could be there in twenty minutes. On my way another old woman came and asked where I was going. Sure, wrong bungalows, but I could transfer tomorrow, it's not my fault they don't answer the phone at the place I reserved. We went a short ways on the concrete road before it turned to dirt. When it turned to mud, I had to get out and walk. Despite the short distance it was fairly steep and I wasn't accustomed to carrying this much and I hadn't quit smoking when I hit Southeast Asia, as I had intended to.

I found the place without any difficulty, dropped my bags, looked out at an expanse of jungle and chatted with a couple of elderly Thai women, one being the person who had given me the ride. I was hungry, not having eaten yet. I got a small banana one of the little sweet ones common in Panama but not available in the states. I asked for a shake and quickly received a banana shake and was then offered a bar-b-qued banana, which was delicious but not nearly enough to sate me. Hell, it was almost dinner time and I hadn't eaten anything else all day.

The woman told me that to eat, I should rent a scooter and go back to town. Shit! I didn't want to rent a scooter, I didn't want to see a road much less a town. I came here to be one with nature. It turns out that normally they serve meals but that the woman's cousin had died and she had been spending her days at the temple. There were five other guests checked in but not in evidence, they were off walking in the mountains. It turns out that they had all been there each year for many years and were going to town for takeaway three times a day. Damn..

She offered to make me fried rice, but I have been avoiding rice and offered to make me some  So far, in Thailand, I have lost five micro USB cables and six pounds. The weight loss I attribute to avoiding starches and my nemesis, ice cream. Hopefully some good mountain hiking will accelerate that process, I'd like to drop another twenty. It is now 6:20, the power just went out. My computer says I have 1 hour and 52 minutes of run time. I doubt it.
 

My phone is running on battery power. I bought a micro USB cable yesterday and charged up the phone last night, today the batteries quickly died and it wouldn't take a charge. Damn cable. It can't be all three USB ports on my computer, I hope. I plugged in my Kindle. Damn, it charges. The phone is fucked. How did that happen? I haven't been caught in the rain or dropped it in the sea.

The camera was kind of shitty, the phone did get some water in it a while ago and the camera hasn't been up to snuff since then, when was that? Oh, yeah, when Kivia came to Bocas. Haha, just saw her a couple of days ago.

As my only source of internet is the phone and I can't charge it, I tried to turn it off. It immediately said

[ODIN3 FACTORY]

PRODUCT: GT-S7500

VERSION: ST7500AIMC2

CUSTOM BINARY DOWNLOAD: NO

CURRENT BINARY: SAMSUNG OFFICIAL

Downloading

Do not turn off target!!!

Great, burn up what little battery power I have while downloading an operating system upgrade I don't need over a G3 connection. I hope it finishes before the battery dies. After that, I may have a working spare battery and then I guess I have to replace the phone. I won't be anywhere long enough to get it repaired.

The phone died, I replaced the battery with a good one, it started to boot, turned off and is now a brick. Life.

I put in a third battery. It booted, but showed no battery life and died.

I put in a fourth battery, now out of batteries and it says, charging. I don't know.

In the end I went to bed without dinner, having had just a shake and a couple of bananas for the day. 

Krabi to Ko Samui

After yesterday's disaster I felt no need to tarry in Krabi.  My next stop is
Ko Samui. First stop is apparently Surat Thani and from there I can take a ferry.

I inquired at the reception desk of the hotel how to get to Surat Thani and was immediately told I needed to go by taxi.  A taxi driver, standing nearby and apparently a friend of the person behind the desk quickly explained that it would be 2 1/2 hours and 3000 baht by private vehicle and proudly pointed to the old sedan parked in front of the hotel.  No thanks, I want to bus it. That will be at most, one tenth the cost and provide some interaction with people.  Well, the bus leaves at four, maybe five.  Great help there guys.   Perhaps I should just bus it to Krabi Town and secure a seat.

Half an hour later and 60 baht later... That was easy and the next bus leaves at 1:00 and costs 150 baht.

I read on the bus and arrived at Surat Thani.  I was expecting a bus station, but was told to disembark at some intersection. I looked up and a man inquired "Kho Samui?  Hurry, hurry."  I had never caught site of the bus driver.  The man stepped down out of the bus.  I placed my bags down and he grabbed my backpack with a profound grunt, but managed to sling it over one shoulder.  He proceeded to walk as quickly as he could manage under the load and a block later the bag swung and knocked down an elderly woman.  As I stopped to make sure she was ok, he merely turned around and had a hearty laugh and proceeded.  Three blocks later he placed the bag in the back of his beaten down little pickup truck and told me to sit in the cab.  He wanted 2,000 baht to drive me to the ferry terminal.  I stepped out, retrieved my bag and walked a short distance before confronting another person.  "Where you go? Where you go?", the refrain of the Thai national anthem.  I indicated that I was trying to get to Kho Samui.  He brought me to a tour company that told me it was too rough to go out today and that I should buy a ticket now, get a room and they could take me in the morning.

I walked on.  An old lady stopped me, called out the refrain and took me to another place.   A bus ticket and a ferry ride to Ko Samui was 380 baht.  This was the last bus and left in less than half an hour, at 5:30, directly in front of the business.   I was hungry but was advised that I had no time to get food.  Next door was a woman with "two menus" one was pork, she pointed to a pot of meat simmering and the other fried chicken.  The pork certainly had to be an improvement on the chicken and I opted for that.  It wasn't bad.

On the bus I sat behind a german girl and across from her Chilean boyfriend.  He was working on his Phd in biology and had spent considerable time in Gamboa, Panama.  The ride time was consumed by very pleasant conversation. A one hour bus trip terminated at the ferry terminal.  I slipped the plastic ticket card I had been provided into the slot in the turnstile and walked through.  I took a seat on the second level foredeck of the big, rumbling steel boat and I continued to read.  I didn't even notice that we were a mile from shore.  The seas were very calm.  An hour and a half later we arrived at Ko Samui.  I had been advised by a woman who travels for a living, making damn good money from her blogging that I should head out to Lanai Beach.  When I was approached by a woman with a map asking me, "Where you go?" I told her Lanai Beach, but before listening to her ridiculous quote I queried the driver of another truck.  Yes, he was going to Lanai Beach, second stop, that would be 200 baht.  I don't know how long that ride was about forty minutes, I guess.  In the middle of a narrow, bustling street I was told this was the center of town.

I got out, walked a few blocks and found a very nice hotel with a swimming pool, secured a room with a balcony for 750 baht, plunked down my stuff and headed out for dinner.

This town was nice,  every business had a dozen customers, anothing was dead but nothing was mayhem.  Restaurants, bars, hotel, convenience store, pharmacy, pool parlor, repeat.

The pool parlors had two or three tables of incredibly hot girls looking like they were just having a nice time.  The tour books indicate that these girls will beat you at pool every time and are available for take away.

I just wanted something substantial and decided that it was not mandatory to eat Thai for every meal and dined at a Swedish restaurant, hardly a scarce resource here.  I made the mistake of ordering Stroganoff with sausage.  The sausage was hot dog.

Ahh well, I will explore tomorrow, it's ten o'clock at night and I have no sense of
urgency.`

Krabi Snorkeling Tour - A Very Bad Idea

The time to meet up with someone had finally arrived, it was time to leave Karon and head to Krabi.

Before going into that, I'll say I didn't do much in Karon, a day of unspectacular diving and the rest of the time was spent hanging out at the beach or sitting in the lobby of my hotel, working on some aerospace software.   That was fairly productive, but until I get some confirmation that the prospective client has more than a casual interest I will probably give that a rest for a while.  Coding has become a chore rather than a passion.

Getting to Krabi, the hard way: I was told to wait out in front of the hotel for "the big blue bus".  Many big blue busses passed by but finally the hotel clerk went out in front and flagged down an oversized  a covered truck that I was to have known qualified as a bus.  I was shortly and unceremoniously dropped off in the middle of Phuket Town.   I was fortunate  to find a fellow who wanted to know where I was going without trying to get me to take a tuk tuk ride.   Just wait here, the bus to the bus terminal will be along in a bit.  When it showed up, he pointed it out to me.  Another truck, but this one fully occupied, with people standing on the rear bumper and just holding on.  I placed my gear on the bumper, grabbed onto carrier rails on the roof and off we went. There we so many people standing on the back bumper the gear couldn't fall off. Half an hour later the bus stopped at the Phuket Town bus terminal.   A hike across a busy road and up a hill and I was there.  I asked at one window where I buy a ticket to Krabi, the woman at the next booth called me over.

I plunked down my 120 baht, about four bucks and headed out to the appropriate bus lane and waited a short bit.  This was a big air-conditioned double decker affair, the lower portion was used for luggage and presumably for transporting other goods.   The backpack was stowed and I headed up the stairs and took a seat a proceeded to read on my kindle.  A comfortable 2 1/2 or 3 hour bus ride later I was at the Krabi bus terminal.  Hmmm.   Of course I was solicited by a couple of taxi drivers, but I found one with several people and inquired if it was going to the beach.  I didn't even know how many there were much less which one to go to.

Twenty minutes later after a ride in the back of a small pickup with benches beneath a covered top,  I was in the town of Au Anong and got on the internet, booked a room, made my way to the place, dumped the bags, showered and headed out.  A couple of hours later I stumbled into Kivia at a street food vendor. We had something to eat, many a laugh about our recent travel experiences and went to the beach to meet a friend of hers, unbeknownst to me, we had left twenty minutes after the agreed upon meeting time and the other person never showed or had given up.  More stories, more laughs and we headed to the room.  The next day was a whole lot of nothing, Kivia planned travel for weeks in advance and I tried to charge her flights, but was declined on my bank card.  One flight went through, but the others failed.  I called the bank, the fraud unit had been alerted due to the fact that these were foreign transactions.  Really?  I have been  out of the US for four years.  You are just now noticing?  I tried to put them through again without success and close to two we just gave up,  we'll deal with it tomorrow.

The prices were pretty amazing, from Bangkok to Myanmar, including baggage surcharges and credit card fees it came to $67.  More flights, to Malaysia and then Indonesia and the total was still under $250.  We had planned to go snorkeling so she ran out and bought a couple off tickets on a tour.  The nominal price was 1,800 baht per person, but I had advised her that I had shopped around in Phuket town and found them as low as 1,000  baht.  She paid 1,000 baht each.

The Snorkel Trip

We were picked up at 8:30 and rode a bus for but a few minutes and boarded a "fast boat"  around 40 feet, with a 10 foot beam and twin Honda 250 four strokes on the stern.  Thirty eight of us boarded.  Kivia headed through the boat and assumed a seat in the foremost portion of the bow.  This would certainly afford both the best view and the most uncomfortable ride.  We jammed ass to ass when the operator indicated that we had room for two more.  Really? In half an hour we were at Bamboo Beach.   Boats were everywhere, side to side, stern to shore, each carrying close to fifty passengers.  The water was crystal clear, enormous rocks rose straight up from the sea, the sand was white and fine and the beach was packed with people.  It was standing room only.

We were expecting a quiet, lovely beach.  Instead, there were throngs of people. It was standing room only.  We were given twenty minutes to enjoy our surroundings.  Asians were waiting  to take pictures like the one on the left. Japanese, Koreans, Chinese, and of course Swedes.  This town is a Swede outpost. After taking pictures of people taking pictures we headed to the restrooms.  There was a long queue at the women's room.  Seems like we have been here over twenty minutes.  Yeah, we were two tardy travelers.  We returned to the boat to receive a twenty minute tirade from the tour operator, telling us next time we should hire a private boat.  We attempted to apologize but it was difficult to interrupt his stream of vehemence.

We took off and boated past a tiny cave that had bamboo improbably positioned throughout.  There were tens of thousands of tons of rock overhead.   As we started to head out one of the tourists asked if that was the viking cave.  The tour operator stated indignantly that he had tried to tell us but that nobody had bothered to listen.  Click, click, click.

We wound our way between some large rocks in near still waters and were asked to temporarily relinquish our seats so that people could take photos.  What about us?  We hadn't had a chance and we were the ones getting the shit beaten out of our backs.

Next stop, monkey bay. After explaining that feeding the monkeys was bad, without a proper explanation of the imbalanced diet of tourist provided bananas and the lack of exercise obtained by foraging if food was just handed to them.  He popped open a couple of coke bottles and flipped the tops into the water.   He was getting on my nerves.  Then he proceeded to get out of the boat and offer the coke bottle to the monkey who drank it and carried it off to be littered somewhere.   Our three minute photo session came to a close and we headed to Phi Phi island.

Upon arrival we were informed that we had one hour for lunch.  After eating we could go shopping at the mall.  Really?  I came to beautiful island to go frigging shopping? The food was pretty bad,bland, cold, not nearly as good as one could obtain from any street vendor.  There was no time to explore the beaches or the island.  We punctually arrived at the boat having seen none of Phi Phi but concrete and headed out to snorkel, the tour operators arrived far later than our previous delay but issued no apology.

A Swedish couple next to us grimaced as we crashed on the waves.  The sea wasn't rough, but the boat took them very badly.   Robert asked our benevolent guide to ask the driver to slow down as the ride was painful.  The guide replied that this wasn't bad and that if Robert didn't like it, he could get off the boat and next time he could take a slow boat.   I admonished him by stating that while we were forced to sit in the front due to lack of room to stand, he was standing in the rear of the boat all very comfortable.  Now he was pissed.  He told me that he would leave Kivia and me at Bamboo Island to be killed by the "real Thais", that we were not allowed on his boat.  He then said he was calling the tourist police and faked a call. Who is to believe he would speak with them in English?  Kivia turned on her go pro and told him that she was a journalist, which in fact, she is and asked him his name and what he was uspset about.  He backed down, noticing the filming and went into the main cabin, pulled out a large knife for no apparent reason and continued his tirade. He returned to the front and Kivia told him we would gladly get out but that he had to refund all of our money first.  He refused to do so and said that we should talk with the company from whom we bought the tickets.  I requested the email address of the Swedish and Spanish couple in the event that things got ugly with the tourist police l  The Swede's readily provided theirs and were looking forward to this perspective, it would back up their crazy story when they got home.  The Spanish couple thought about it for a minute and decided they didn't have email.

Next, it was time to snorkel, this was, after all, a snorkeling trip. Sargent Majors were in abundance, a few parrot fish. I saw a sea snake and an eel.  Kivia saw and photographed a human skull. We joked that it might have been that of a tourist from this very boat. I looked around and there was nobody in the water. What? We went on a snorkel trip and we had been in the water for less than half an hour. Kivia commented that Bocas del Toro, Panama, was far superior in every respect.  I had spent a few days with Kivia in Bocas when I lived there.  I still have a house on the Caribbean there, out in the jungle, with no roads and only the occasional boat, many paddled by the Ngobe who are my neighbors.

The Spaniards reported that their iPhone and camera had been stolen from their bags when there was no one aboard the boat but the crew.  Karma's a bitch guys.

We got off at Bamboo Island with the others and stood there for ten minutes before returning to the boat with the others.  He didn't challenge us.  Had he, there were plenty of other boats we could have hired. When we returned to the pier, he passed a hat around and asked everybody to tip them.  The hat came back completely empty.  One passenger from the front gave him a few baht.  He said that that passenger could have a ride back to her hotel, the rest of us would have to walk.  We jammed 23 of us into the back of a long bed truck and then got out and boarded something that more nearly approximated a bus.   There was apparent unanimity across all nationalities the guy was an asshole and the day sucked.  When stepped out of the bus, the guide thanked each of us for coming.

This was boat #15 in case anybody cares to go on this tour anyway, certainly avoid this boat.

Kivia packed her backpack, paid me for her flights and headed out to bus it to Bangkok to see another friend from god only knows where and then fly to Myanmar the next day.   Goodbye, see you in Bali!!!
No, I won't be going to any of the elephant parks.