Mayhem

I told her I would see her tomorrow.  Didn't seem much point with the little pouty in tow.  But I promised.

With a sigh I took off to the resort at which she was staying.

There she was with a couple pound lobster sitting next to the kid.

Hi girl! I returned, as promised.

What do you want Jim?  Joan, I don't care just serve me some fish.  Joan smacked me on the back of head and told me to make a decision.  OK I'll have the lion fish, broiled.

A couple of hours later I got my seriously undercooked fish. Can you cook this for me?  I sent it back to a strange world.  I was the only unserved customer.  This can't take more than a few minutes in a preheated oven.

The sun set.  The world turned many degrees.  No sign of my fish  What the fuck?  I can go to another island    and havae a dish prepared.  Hell, I could go to Colon, call Tuti, buy some Mahi Mahi, go to the far end of Solarte, fire up the grill and cook it in less time than this. There was a distinct possibility that I could spearfish in the mangroves and get some snapper.

Finally, really damn hungry, I said, "I have to go." I left without waiting for the bill.  I love Joan and I know that employees here frequently disappoint.  Whatever.

Where to?  Oh, jesus, not the Aqua Lounge. Why?  Ohh you want to meet the head bitch?  Ok.  Loud music. Scores of honeys waiting to get picked up.  Heat.  Insufficient ventilation.  If I have to put with this you have to go to the restroom and take off your panties and hand them to mee.  The ultimatum was matched gallantly as she removed them right on the dance floor and handed them to me ceremoniously.  Ok, we are down to one slinky dress.  Things are looking better.

Ok, enough is enough, let's head out of here, go a mile off shore and you can dispose of that dress.  "You are bad, you are really bad."  "What the hell, did you think this was an invite to a chess match?"  We drifted for hours payimg no attention to our location.  "My daughter is probably seriously concerned.  I need to get back."  Ok.  Wait.  Where the fuck are we?   No, we can't go faster!  Get your hand off the throttle.  What?  A foot of water maybe?  We stopped in a fucking hurry.  She was knocked down but there was no damage to either person.  Ahh fuck, another prop shot.

Let me see, this tower, that tower, ok, here we go. back to Isla Colon. Oh man.  There is so much shallow water here.  Sand and sea grass but.  Wait!  I converted to a nominal 6.5 gallon tank.  A fillup doesn't carry me as far as it used to..... Shit.  Oh well, I have another ten gallons.  I'll just fill the tank.  Oh god, the flapper valve on the primer bulb is shot.  Screw it. We are less than a mile from shore.  I'll pull her in.  I'd rather do that than paddle.

"I can't let you do that by yourself!"   "Sure you can, just put your naked ass on this seat.  It won't take me too long.  Nope she was in the water, seriosly concerned that I was under the boat.  I swam. I tugged.  The tide was a bit suprising but the wind was nominal.    Just get your ass back in the boat.  Let me deal with it.  Oh shit.  You don't have the strength to lift your ass into the boat?  Jesus.  I've been working. Ok legs wrapped around my head as I am trying to figure out whether the hoisting is still my objective.  To shore.  I'll throw you over like a sack of potatoes. Nope. I should have done that in the shallows.  The physics just doesn't work here.

After numerous attempts at offering assistance the boat was finally pulled against the tide, through sandy shallows which caused far more exertion than the deep water and brought her to a hotel dock. Intermittently  I stumbled and fell, scraping  myself fairly on coral.

A pint of blood draining down one's body and drying on the legs looks pretty scary to couch potatoes.  I ignored it.  That is scratch.  As I was trying to escort this girl through town people thought I had major emergency.  It's just blood, I am on a street; it will be washed away in a few days.

I encountered a former room mate. A water taxi driver announced accross the street.  "I took your chicken home."  He gave me a quizzical look. "He means chick."

Man in his whitie tighties selling cigs at 4 in the morning.

The really hot blonde fucking the guy on the veranda at Heike while we sat on the benches and made commentaries.and watched.

Dawn.  Let's see, damn the gas dock is not opened.  Not a clue where the operator is.  Let's swing around this little island and see what damage we can cause.  "Jesus Jim how many times have I told you not do that? The fucking police were holding guns to my wife's head last night:"  You told me once and that was on a provision. I am extremely apologetic, sorry your night sucked.  We are getting our asses out of here.

Next stop? Isla Bastimentos

Walking all of Old Town on the west end.  Just greeting random people sitting on their porches, playing guitars, walkomg beneath the houses and play with the kids.

Roots.

Gave the old lady some abuse.  Sassed her.  Hugs every where.

????

That was interesting.  And what the hell were you thinking stepping down four feet accross a six foot span onto a moving boat?  Got your teeth, limb mobility, yup that's a fracture for sure.  To the floating doctors.

What the hell did you just do? You broke the vacuum on my water separator without asking me?  We are three miles from emergency treatment and you fuck with my fuel flow?  Could you help me by sticking a rusty screwdriver up my ass?  All right.  Pull the tank, blow into it, create some pressure to fill the separator. Let's get this thing primed.  Ok, the gas is going.  Off again, two miles to go. We arrived at the ship and presented our guest for attention.

The new doctor looked at the fracture, felt that a reduction was past his limits.  They felt an immediate need to deal with my laceration.They scrubbed it, washed it, applied iodine  Apparently large amounts of dried blood bothers these guys. "It's just a flesh wound"  Get that dressing off my leg.  I am not walking out of here looking like I stepped on a land mine, I have stepped in a pot of boiling water, broken all my ribs at least once, driven a car off a bridge, drove another one underneath an eighteen wheeler, I have been lacerated, pierced, stabbed, scraped, bruised, contused. I have been thrown off ATV's, jet skis, motor cycles, over the bow of a boat.  I heal very quickly.  Really bud, don't worry about it.  It will heal within a week.  Thanks.

Now where?  Rip Tide.  Then what. Oh man, do really want to chase some skirts right now?  I could use with just laying in a hammock.  Whatever, let's do it.