Off to Hospital in David

Bocas del Toro Hospital

I received a phone call last night telling me that I needed to be at the hospital at nine for some blood work. What, and why? Tito and I headed out at eight, bypassed a line of 200 people for some reason.

The woman with whom we met spent half an hour trying to convince me that it was in my best interests to have by blood test results ready for the hospital in David by taking them now.

We met with a women who spent an hour filling out 3 x 5 thin little forms with lines so close together I couldn't write in them. She drew blood, I paid my $12 and left.

Resort

I went to the Real Estate office and met with Eladio, the man who is going to build my dock. He knows  next to no English, my Spanish is better than his English.  He walked up, "Eladio".  Then he looked at me and gave me his ever charming smile and a very warm "Jim Schmidt".  We sat on some stumps and engaged in a fractured conversation in Spanish.   I owed him $480 as a balance on the down payment but more importantly wanted to ensure that there was agreement on what was to be constructed.  I wrote down a big description in English, Walter translated to Spanish for Eladio.   We spent half an hour going over this point by point.  

Pack

We went back to my house.  I couldn't get off the boat because everywhere I went the dogs blocked the way while licking my face.   I eventually pulled it off.   All the clothes I own except those I was wearing at the time were in a plastic bag that Tito had just retrieved from the laundry.  I chose a shirt, a pair of pants, a change of underwear and a pair of socks and put them in my day pack along with my notebook computer and Kindle.  Travelling light.

Private Ride

I started feeling bad and decided to take up a suggestion by a friend of mine to use a private driver.  I hadn't heard the part about needing four hours lead time as the driver was going to drive across the isthmus from my destination before we could go.   The pickup was setup and I had four hours to kill.

Haircut

I couldn't find a place in town that cuts hair that was open.  It had been three months since my last haircut and I was looking extremely unkempt.  Finally Tito called some guy who gives haircuts out of his house.   I ascended the stairs and sat on a stool and waited for him to show up.   There was no mirror I insisted on one.  His tools consisted of a pair clippers, not even a comb.  It was the worst haircut of all time. 

Change of Plans, Again

I went to Casa Verde to kill some more time by hanging out with friends.  I received a phone call from the private driver telling me he couldn't be in Almirante until five.   This is ridiculous, back to taking a water taxi.

Great Deal - Private Ride

Arriving in Almirante a guy told me I could get a private ride for $25.  Now that is a deal.  Then the driver found a group of four and kicked me out.    Best I can do is ninety, piece of shit car asshole.

Taxi to Bus Terminal

So I took a taxi to the bus terminal.  There were two women in the back seat and I related my recent experience.  "Are you ok?"  "No, I am off to the hospital."  The driver told me he would take me to David for only $100.  No thanks, I'll take the bus.  He told me he could make it $90.   No thanks, I'll take the bus.  His car was a piece of shit, he was more than a bit of a dick.  He kept pushing, I blew up. He shut up.

The Ride to David

As soon as we got to the bus terminal I boarded the bus.  Very nice, the aisle was very narrow as they had widened the seats.  On all my other trips the person on the aisle would have a substantial part of his body hanging out into the aisle.  This arrangement doesn't make the aisle any narrower for an occupied bus.  Most seats were occupied but the entire four seat back bench was empty.  What a godsend.  I sat down and spread out.  There was a piece of luggage on the seat, I guess somebody will be coming back here.   

An exceptionally hot young woman in boots sat down several rows ahead of me.   After about ten minutes she looked back, left her seat and came back and sat in the back seat.   This could be a very pleasant ride.  Then a pretty girl came back pointed to the luggage and indicated this was her seat, the hot chick left.  I thought "Hey, there are four seats here, please stay."  I said nothing.

I curled up in the space for three and we headed out.  After a couple of hours we came to a stop, traffic stretched out as far as they eye could see.  We sat there for I don't know how long, maybe an hour.  Finally we left our lane into the oncoming traffic lane which was vacant.  I don't know what made us special.  Finally all the traffic started moving, weaving in and out in a chaotic fashion.  Later I found that this was another road obstruction by the indigenous people protesting proposed mining on their land.

Over the continental divide, waterfalls, driving through the clouds.  Down hill, air brakes for forty five minutes.   Arrived in David and it was like a beauty contest.  There are plenty of hot women in Panama City by the ratio in David is amazing.  Not only are they hot, but they are dressed to impress.

Hospital Chiriqui

Five minute taxi ride.  

Trying to check in I found my drivers license was missing.  Did I leave that at the immigration office when I attempted to get a document to allow me to fly to Panama City without a passport so I could get a replacement passport?

I was given a bed and flirted with the nurse who was giving me my IV.  Then the doctor of internal medicine came by to see me.  She was a smoking hot Panamanian who had spent some time at Mayo Clinic.   I was sorry to see her go after an hour.

The accounting office came in, they wanted a $300 deposit for services.

I asked for some food and a women ordered me chicken, french fries and a salad.  The cafeteria was closed so it was takeout.  After an  hour she told me it was just a few minutes more, I was ravished.  She came in half an hour later and told me I needed to make a deposit.  I told her I needed food.  I was teasing her.  If I have to wait for food you have to wait to get paid.   She brought somebody in to translate.   I said I understood perfectly, I just want my damn food.  Then I gave her my credit card and she ran off to process it.  A while later she came to show me that she had my food and then walked away.  Ok, that is just sadistic.   How cold is this going to be?  Five minutes later she gave me the food.    I don't know how much chicken was in there but it must have been family sized.  Same thing with the fries.   I pigged out.

I remove my clothes and put on one of those "your ass is showing" semi sharongs.  I don't know why they don't have a tie in the back.   Got and ekg and a chest x-ray and was brought to my room, hooked up to an IV. The IV was inserted in the crook of my right elbow and the hose was screwed on rather than simply pushed on.  In the process of screwing it she was screwing the part of the IV in arm and the  skin.   I let out a yelp.

The lights were left on.  How to get them off the switch is across the room.

Finally I found the intercom hidden behind the curtain that separates my bed from the other bed.  There should be a nurse call button.  I am looking around with limited range due to the IV.  The nurses call button produced no result, but the call button on the intercom did the trick.   I was told there was wifi in the room but the provided password didn't work on any of the available networks.  I tried it in upper case and lower case, people don't seem to realize this is case sensitive.

Too sleep, perchance to dream