A gentle walk to the train station brought us to the ticket machine.
This high tech multi-choice ticket machine was baffling to say the least. There were so many travel variations and options for the same journey. Do we take the overhead National Express Great East Anglia Line train with the required connection to the London underground train line service? Do we require an Oyster Card, or a One-Day Travel Card? Which zone 1, 2, 3 or all zones?
The queue behind us was growing by the minute.......
The necessary selections were made. The ticket came to £12.20.
We board the near empty train and after passing a few stations, the train driver announced "This train will terminate at Ilford Station, due to ongoing work being carried out on the tracks ahead. You will need to exit the station and take a bus to your destination!" What? The destination is 15 miles away! Oh well..........
To the bus stop we headed. We soon realized that the queue we were in was the wrong one and walked further ahead to the next bus stop. As we stood waiting Jim noticed an internet cafe and went in to have a look. He came out laughing and said he had photographed a sign:
The bus came and we embarked only to be told by the ever so helpful driver that there is another bus that would take us straight to Stratford Central station, where would be able to connect to the Underground Central Line that would take us to our destination - The Natural History Museum - in the West End of London.
The bus resembled a tin of sardines! Every seat was taken except for the 3 seats upstairs and every window was steamed up to the point of zero visibility.
Once at Stratford Central station we followed the crowd along to the Underground Central Line, better known as the Tube.
A little old lady in front of us was waddling along trying to balance on a high heeled pair of very impractical walking shoes, providing some light entertainment.
Once aboard the 'Tube' we had to stand most of the way as all the seats were taken. The multitude of different nationalities here was striking and all heading for the bright lights of London. It was an overly noisy bone-crushing journey, hanging-on for dear life in these trains is an art as we were being flung to the left, right, back and forth, ribs were elbowed, feet trodden and body blows worthy of a WWF championship title belt.
We arrived at our destination and headed up the 1/4 mile-long escalators, where etiquette - 'standers' to the right, walkers to the left were adhered to. Finding our way out of the labyrinth alone was an adventure. At the exit stiles our tickets were rejected. After several attempts we approached a station guard who looked at the tickets and declared they were only valid to the City (Zone 2) and not to our destination, (Zone 1) and that we had illegally travelled from the City to the West End qualifying us as penalty-worthy fare-dodgers which carried a £50.00 fine! We were advised to re-walk the miles of underground tunnels in the opposite direction to find the Ticket Office, where we could purchase a second ticket, which would allow us to exit the train station.
Off we trekked, bought the tickets, left the station.
Standing outside Knightsbridge station, we were greeted by a sea of tourists all admiring the paintwork outside the world famous Harrods. Some were seated under tree benches eating sandwiches, some where families working out where to go to next. There were couples photographing themselves outside the store whole families where exiting the store with dozens of Harrods' bags stuffed full of January sales items.........
On the pavement, was a beautiful array of cobbled stonework with circles left out for the trees. I ordered, sorry asked Jim to stand outside the famous store so that I could photograph him. He duly obliged and I snapped away. The taxi drivers carrying passengers who also wanted to visit the store, mounted the pavement with a total disregard for pedestrians, one even ‘nudging’ Jim and I out of his way, with his car!
We headed for the Natural History Museum, stumbling across an ice-skating rink full of people all skating in the same direction and a carousel in the distance.
Then we was the queue for the Museum! Several hundred metres of people just waiting to get in. It stretched from down the stairs and around the building. We headed off and found the Art Museum with no queue at all. (This should have been a sign). We wondered down the aisles admiring the various naked sculptures of male and females then found a photographic section and went in. There were very weird pictures on the walls. Very odd indeed. There was one picture of what looked like a chemical spill (just a splatter of different colours shooting off in different directions) and another of close-up dust and lint floating through the air.
Time to leave.
We headed to the Science Museum and managed to get in straight away.
We wandered around and found directions to an area called ‘Psychology; Mind Your Head’ where we saw clothes that had been made out of rubbish (trash) and a shadow on the wall of a person’s profile that was made up of modern latex penises and fingers! We looked over the balcony and saw the Victorian steam engines and headed towards them.
There was jaw dropping machinery along with black and white diagrams to show the mechanical movement. The terrible time we had trying to get into London was worth every second, for this alone.
Upstairs we saw variations of watches, clocks with their back case open so that it’s movement could be seen. Jim fondled his balls while gazing inquisitively at the technical data. There were beautifully crafted sundials and compasses too.
There were beautifully crafted sundials and compasses too.
Interestingly we saw farm equipment from times gone by, plastic replicating robots, old medical memorabilia, telephone switching stations, cray computers, atomic clocks, old composting wooden toilets and wooden vacuum cleaners.
I have forgotten how many corridors, aisles and flights of stairs we walked, but by the time we got to the wooden toilets, I removed my boots to relieve my poor aching toes and carried them over my shoulder.
Once outside, we headed up the road and saw a lovely corner pub and went in for sustenance Jim ordered an ale and I, a white wine. We went upstairs and sat down in the restaurant area and ordered our meals. I had the sirloin steak with fries and vegetables while Jim had ....................? (a truly unmemorable meal).
Jim chatted up the waitress.
The train ride home was on a half empty (or full) carriage allowing us a comfortable journey. We were going to head straight home, but we were still hungry and headed over to the Indian Take-away Jim ordered the hottest lamb vindaloo with naan bread and a lamb korma for me.
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